Temporary Crap

Rahm Emanuel nudity update:

2010-03-09T03:28:00.000-08:00

Massa Details Naked Shower Fight With "Son of the Devil's Spawn"

After the Cap and Trade vote, Emanuel told 'im to toe the line or they'd be singin' Massa's in the cold, cold ground. Or the hot, hot shower.
Emanuel would protest this claim, but "he's the son of the devil's spawn" makes him two generations away from Lucifer - that's basically the nicest thing anybody has ever said about Rahm.

Mystery quote o' the day

2010-03-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

Obama "couldn't sell watermelons if you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic."

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

2010-03-08T19:40:00.000-08:00

The Hollywood Charlie Media Watch:

2010-03-08T14:17:00.000-08:00

Miranda Kerr Bikini Gallery

Shakespeare looks at the health care debate

2010-03-08T10:24:00.000-08:00

iowahawk: Once More Into the Breach

Topless Model Update

2010-03-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Topless with Lydia Hearst and Friends in Purple Magazine

The actor you most want to slap (when James Spader is not available) has left the building

2010-03-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

RIP: Actor Ron Silver, 62

The new trailer for Iron Man 2 looks good

2010-03-08T08:05:00.000-08:00

Iron Man 2 trailers and video clips

James Bond super-criminal o' the day

2010-03-08T08:02:00.000-08:00

Man arrested for "thinking of a cheeseburger"

Crack(ed) addiction:

2010-03-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

5 Creepy Ways Video Games Are Trying to Get You Addicted | Cracked.com

Howard Hughes department:

2010-03-08T07:59:00.000-08:00

The 7 Most Horrifying Things Found in the Homes of 'Hoarders' | Cracked.com

Circus Boy is now Circus Gramps

2010-03-08T03:38:00.000-08:00

Monkee Micky Dolenz turns 65 today

But he's too busy singin' to put anybody down. Fortunately I have no such problem.
"In a September 2006 radio interview, Dolenz reported that he is the current voice of Snuggle the Fabric Softener Bear." So his career is kickin'! Not to mention April fresh.
Personally, I have never been able to get my clothing April fresh, no matter which detergents and laundry products I use. The closest I have ever been able to get is St. Patrick's Day. This probably explains my failure as a one-hour martinizer. Dammit, I love to martinize, but I could never do it in less than 63 minutes.
Turns out that was foreshadowing. I now have the same problem with sex.

Oscars 2010: It's a Wrap!

2010-03-08T01:11:00.000-08:00

Gawker's amusing recap of the highlights of the Oscar telecast

Oscar night fever #2

2010-03-08T00:55:00.000-08:00

"Hilary Swank was tonight's big winner"

"She was even nice enough to wear a fancy necklace so you could pretend like you weren’t staring at her tits."

Oscar night fever

2010-03-08T00:53:00.000-08:00

Christine Hendricks flashes the cleavage

"Christine Hendricks was one of the many big stars at Elton John's party after the Academy Awards, and I should love her because she has red hair and huge tits and those are my favorite things ever, but for some reason I don't. It's not one thing. It's a bunch of things that are just slightly too much. Her ass is too big and she's too pale and her hair looks like a wig and she wears her makeup weird. It's almost like looking at an x-rated snowman."

Nightmare on Main Street

2010-03-08T00:44:00.000-08:00

10 Scariest Children's Commercials of All Time

SteynOnline - THE OSCAR FOR BEST OSCAR SPEECH

2010-03-08T00:42:00.000-08:00

BEST OSCAR SPEECH: from Marc Antony until today

MARGARET THATCHER

Presenter, Best Supported Actor, 1990

And the nominees are . . . Michael Heseltine for Tarzan Returns and Margaret Thatcher for The Lady Vanishes. And the Oscar goes to . . . John Major in Forrest Gump? Oh, my God, I don't believe it. You don't like me! You really don't like me!

The Dude finally wins his Oscar

2010-03-08T00:38:00.000-08:00

Academy Awards Oscars Results 2010

Sandra Bullock won best actress to go with her worst actress in the same year.
The Hurt Locker was the big winner with four major awards: picture, director, screenplay, editing. The only major award for Avatar was in the cinematography category.

Weekend Box Office Results for March 5-7, 2010

2010-03-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

Alice in Wonderland shatters all March records.

Before this weekend, the highest gross for a March weekend was $70M. Alice took in $116 million. (The rest of the top 12 took in about $70M added together.) To add some perspective, Avatar took in "only" $77 million in its first weekend. Forget about March. Alice had the #6 weekend of all time - for any month.
Brooklyn's Finest will be a respectable if distant 2nd or possibly 3rd, depending on the final numbers. It took in some $13.5M, which is better than it appears to be, because the film was in fewer than 2000 theaters. (Alice, for example, is in 3700.)

Causing a stir while in stir

2010-03-07T05:38:00.000-08:00

5 People Who Changed the World From Inside of Prison | Cracked.com

Add to the list W.C. Minor, the homocidal lunatic who was responsible for much of the success of the Oxford English Dictionary, having worked on it steadily for some 40 years of incarceration. Quick reference.

Dali, penis-obsessed genius

2010-03-07T05:27:00.000-08:00

Salvador Dali analyzed by Cracked.com

"Salvador Dali was a Spanish-born Surrealist painter. Comprising roughly 70 percent genius, 30 percent batshit-insanity, and 100 percent awesome mustache, his work has influenced a number of artists who like to paint things that look like dicks."

The truthers were right all along! Just ask Ahmadinejad

2010-03-07T05:01:00.000-08:00

Iran's Ahmadinejad: Sept. 11 attacks a "big lie"

Ya gotta love this guy. He's the guy who really understands "the big lie," in the Goebbels sense of the word. For a while there he was claiming that his "Israel must be wiped off the map" statement was a mistranslation. That's pretty hilarious to begin with since he doesn't know English well enough to know whether the expression was a correct translation of his meaning, but more important, it wasn't a translation at all. It was the official English-language version of his speech published by The Islamic Republic News Agency, Iran's official propaganda arm, and it was sitting on their website - in exactly those words - while he was accusing the west of misrepresenting him! Goebbels always preached that no matter how evident something is, if you just deny it vast numbers of people will believe you.

AMATEUR VIDEO:

2010-03-07T03:01:00.000-08:00

Incredible Hail Storm And Flash Flood In Melbourne (March 5, 2010)

Jamaican DOGsled team?

2010-03-07T02:58:00.000-08:00

"Jamaican pride: Marshall's trek to Alaska serves as inspiration"

"Newton Marshall trained for sled-dog racing with stray mutts pulling a sled on wheels through the streets of Jamaica. Now he's poised to begin the grueling Iditarod."
It's no joke. He's pretty damned good at it, especially considering his lack of experience. He finished 13th in the Yukon Quest in his first try. Most rookies don't finish that race at all.
His key sponsor: Jimmy Buffett.

Razzie results announced:

2010-03-07T02:50:00.000-08:00

Oscar hopeful Sandra Bullock crowned "worst actress" as well

Two different movies. The "worst" award was for All About Steve. She also shared the Razzie for Worst Screen Couple, from the same movie.
"Unlike most Razzie honorees, Bullock showed up to collect the award, dragging a cart of DVDs to hand out to members whom she accused of never seeing the dud movie. 'Thank you for ruining my career with a very bad decision,' Bullock told the group, while threatening to read her dialogue from the role 'until 4 in the morning.' The actress played a socially awkward designer of newspaper crosswords, who falls in love with a cameraman (Bradley Cooper) and stalks him."

I believe they call this a rebuilding year

2010-03-07T01:41:00.000-08:00

You know the storied Tar Heel basketball program? They just lost a game 82-50.

And it was that close only because Duke coasted. It was 53-26 at halftime.

Celeb nudity update:

2010-03-07T00:44:00.000-08:00

Autumn Reeser is topless in this trailer for The Big Bang

Browse the Complete Popular Science Archive

2010-03-07T00:35:00.000-08:00

"our entire 137-year archive for free browsing" (flying cars, anyone?)

"Each issue appears just as it did at its original time of publication, complete with period advertisements. And today we're excited to announce you can browse the full archive right here on PopSci.com."

Live from New York ...

2010-03-07T00:29:00.000-08:00

Zach Galifianakis Crashes Nearly Every NBC Set

Daring armed robbery on live TV in Europe

2010-03-06T16:01:00.000-08:00

Armed Robbers Make Off with European Poker Tournament Jackpot

"In Berlin - and on live television - armed robbers raided the Hyatt hotel that was hosting a European Poker Tournament event and left with a reported €1 million. Inside, video of the panic that ensued as the robbery happened."

Boogie Woogie: Sexy Sneak Peek!

2010-03-06T11:14:00.000-08:00

"Check out Gemma Atkinson, Heather Graham, Gillian Anderson, Jaime Winston and other saucepots getting nudey and naughty in raunchy new flick Boogie Woogie"

Baseball's Ugliest Uniforms. Ever

2010-03-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

The national pastime reflects the flawed fashion sense of the nation itself in the late 20th century

Here's one that should have made the list as a perfect example of mid-70s insanity. The White Sox wear shorts.

Least surprising fact o' the day:

2010-03-06T10:36:00.000-08:00

The president of the Detroit School Board is illiterate

And why not? He attended Detroit schools!

Undercover cop o' the day:

2010-03-06T10:34:00.000-08:00

Detective gets 130 lap dances, makes no arrests

Serious news headline o' the day:

2010-03-06T10:29:00.000-08:00

"Man sues airline for not looking at his scrotum"

Daily Box Office for Friday, March 5, 2010

2010-03-06T10:17:00.000-08:00

Alice in Wonderland opens with $41m Friday

You're not impressed? You would be if you considered the seasonality issue. The previous record for a Friday in March was held by 300 - at a mere $28m! Alice ranks #7 among all Fridays in history, and that includes Fridays in May, June, July, Thanksgiving week, Christmas week, you name it. This movie just plain kicked ass. It was expected to take in as much as the next nine added together. It actually took in TWICE as much as the next nine added together!
Brooklyn's Finest opened with a respectable $5m on Friday, good enough for a (very, very distant) second.

The Indie Spirit Awards: the good, the bad, and the smug

2010-03-06T09:37:00.000-08:00

Indie Spirit: Ben Stiller hangs with porn stars, Jeff Bridges channels The Dude, and more

"There were plenty of celebs on hand at the 25th Annual Film Independent Spirit Awards, including Ben Stiller, who joked winningly about the strangeness of being named Honorary Chair of the event since the last time he made an indie was the mid-90s. Then he invited some porn stars on stage with him, which was sorta weird and distracting."

Cameo roles: the highest art form

2010-03-06T09:18:00.000-08:00

Stan Lee's Oscar Campaign

Our long spangly nightmare is ... oh, never mind

2010-03-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

5 Reasons The Oscars Matter Even Less Than You Thought | Cracked.com

Warren Beaty enjoys old-age ... until:

2010-03-06T09:12:00.000-08:00

"SURGEONS have saved a man's life after a THREE WEEK erection nearly killed him."

A fascinating story about the origin of Facebook

2010-03-06T09:06:00.000-08:00

Was Facebook ripped off from other people? Gawker's investigator thinks that may be so, and presents his case.

If Your Name Begins With "D," You May Die Younger

2010-01-11T09:44:00.000-08:00

If Your Name Begins With 'D,' You May Die Younger

Or, as Cookie Monster's somber brother, Death Monster, used to sing, "D is for Death, that's good enough for me."
"Ernest Abel and Michael Kruger have been involved in several similar statistical studies in the past, including one that indicated baseball players with nicknames live longer than those without."
Polish up that Nobel!

The department of unbreakable baseball records

2009-11-30T21:40:00.000-08:00

Metric conversion problem: How many walks in a shitload?

Nolan Ryan finished his career with about 2800 bases on balls, nearly 1000 more than the next highest guy. How high is that? Let me put it this way. If Randy Johnson could sell his soul to satan in order to experience his entire career again and pitch another 22 years just like the 22 he already has in the bank, he would barely break the record in his 39th year of pitching - and Johnson pitched a lot of innings and allowed a lot of walks when he was a kid! (He once allowed 152 walks in 201 innings).

Important question o' the day:

2009-11-30T20:53:00.000-08:00

What was the most-used word of 2009?

Man loves nipples so much that he has had them tattooed on his BUM

2009-11-28T09:08:00.000-08:00

"man loves nipples so much that he has had them tattooed on his BUM."

"They were originally modelled on Lily Allen's boobs but we had a look in a men's magazine and there was a girl called Rebecca from Bournemouth - they were the nicest ones I could find."

Statutory Rape?

2009-10-28T23:06:00.000-07:00

Statutory rape?

Drew Barrymore Flashes Letterman in 1995

2009-10-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

The Tao of Anne Hathaway nudity

2009-09-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

The Tao of Anne Hathaway nudity

"Anne Hathaway is a classically trained actress whose style has been compared to Judy Garland and Audrey Hepburn. She also has fantastic tits that you can totally see if you can endure the movies orbiting around them."

Top stars of 1966

2009-09-19T05:56:00.000-07:00

Leo the Listmaker looks at the top stars of 1966

Box office outlook for September 18-20

2009-09-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

The Weekend Warrior looks at the box office for September 18-20

Typically for this time of year, there are four new releases:

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs - a digital 3-D animation for kids, which is expected to do about $24 million. 92% positive reviews.
Jennifer's Body - the Diablo Cody film starring Megan Fox. $15 million. 32% positive reviews.
The Informant - a dark Soderbergh comedy starring Matt Damon. $12 million. 68% positive reviews.
Love Happens - Jennifer Aniston rom-com. $8.5 million. 0% positive reviews.

Here's the Rotten Tomatoes summary page for the new films.

Naked supermodel department:

2009-04-16T10:57:00.000-07:00

Alessandra Ambrosio Shows Off for Homem Vogue

"Here's Supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio showing off her amazing ass, and looking otherwise spectacular in Homem Vogue, the Brazilian version of Men's Vogue."

Mel Gibson stands on the edge of poverty.

2009-04-16T10:55:00.000-07:00

Sad Mel Gibson Wondering if He Picked the Wrong Oksana

A lot of people have been comparing Mel's wife to Heather Mills, which is ridiculous. She's been his partner for nearly 30 years, and if she gets half of his billion bucks ... oh, the poor lad, he'll have to get though life with only a half billion. My heart goes out to him as I build a cooking bonfire and debate with myself whether beans would taste OK if re-re-fried.

Mother Theresa for the Lady Schick?

2009-04-16T10:45:00.000-07:00

The 5 Most Ill-Advised Celebrity Endorsements Ever | Cracked.com

When Superman has a bad hair day, how does he comb it?

2009-04-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

6 Superheroes Who Completely Lost Their Shit | Cracked.com

Catfight: with famous chicks, and FISTS

2009-01-04T09:05:00.000-08:00

Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson New Year's Eve Fist Fight

"Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been waging a very public war over the past few evenings. Tuesday night, according to Page Six, the couple engaged in a very nasty display while partying at Set in Miami with family in tow. Then on New Year’s Eve, it got even worse. The two were supposed to be hosting a party at Mansion. Words were exchanged and before you can say cat flight, the two were out in the alley amid the trashcans and street people, having a fist fight. The fight didn’t end there. They continued to go at it when they got back to their hotel room, apparently spilling out into the hallway where other hotel guests stood in stunned amazement. Hotel security finally intervened, breaking up the fight and photographing their trashed room."

Conan trains to be Santa:

2009-01-04T08:26:00.000-08:00

Dude, what's with the redesign?

2009-01-04T00:11:00.000-08:00

It's just temporary. This is Temporary Crap, the internal Blogger page I use as a back-up to Other Crap when Blogger has its occasional, apparently inevitable FTP problems. I thought it would be fixed by now, but it ain't, so this is the fill-in page, which I haven't had to use since April, 2007.

Don't forget the BEST NUDE SCENES of 2008.

Daily box office results

2009-01-03T22:24:00.000-08:00

Daily Box Office for Friday, January 2, 2009

It's just the same movies as last week, with each of them performing approximately as expected.

More of the twentieth century in black and white photographs

2009-01-03T22:04:00.000-08:00

Part 101 in the series!

Is our teachers teaching?

2009-01-03T16:48:00.000-08:00

"The head of a new school has banned the word 'school' — in case it upsets pupils’ parents."

Goodbye, Jimbo, and thanks for all the fish.

2009-01-03T16:34:00.000-08:00

Failanthropy: Wikipedia's Jimmy Wales Out of a Job

Before They Were Famous

2009-01-03T11:18:00.000-08:00

Edition #12 of the guessing game.

Science Marches On

2009-01-03T11:08:00.000-08:00

Hallmark Scientists Identify 3 New Human Emotions

Ask the Madam ...

2009-01-03T10:54:00.000-08:00

Sex Trade: Which celebrities would be the most expensive hookers?

This booth could make money in Norway:

2009-01-03T04:03:00.000-08:00

"Meet a real black person ..."

Steve Martin saw this coming:

2009-01-03T04:02:00.000-08:00

Cat Juggling: sport of the future

Things they don't teach in public speaking classes:

2009-01-03T04:00:00.000-08:00

Things to say during sex, or not

"Public" speaking without the gratuitous "l."

A Photoshopped look into the future ...

2009-01-03T03:59:00.000-08:00

The 12 Most Embarrassing Photos ... of 2009!

Useful tips for your heavy drinking needs:

2009-01-03T03:58:00.000-08:00

Preparing for New Year's Eve: 5 drinking myths that can kill you if you believe them

Oops, I'm a little late with this post. Sorry if you died.

E.T. Phone Home ... Collect

2009-01-03T03:57:00.000-08:00

Insane Messages We're Actually Sending Into Deep Space

2008 In Review:

2009-01-03T03:55:00.000-08:00

Gawker's top ten posts of the year

I'm not a homeless man. I just play one on TV.

2009-01-03T03:54:00.001-08:00

Wait. Maybe he IS a homeless man. At any rate, Joaquin Phoenix is a Hairclip Hunk
As the young people say today, that dude has some issues.

Yet another "best of" list:

2009-01-03T03:52:00.000-08:00

Best 100 Comics of 2008

"Britannia waives the rules" department

2009-01-03T03:50:00.000-08:00

Key phrase: "the scent of female beaver"

PPD Blue:

2009-01-03T03:49:00.000-08:00

"A Portland man faces a drunken driving charge after police found him aboard an idling Zamboni"

Polish up that Nobel Prize ...

2009-01-03T03:47:00.000-08:00

"A man named 'Big Chicken Mushroom' from WuHan, China, has invented the 'Fart Silencer'”

Big Chicken Mushroom?
My only fear about visiting China: will I be able to distinguish between the menu and the phone book?

Movie geek special:

2009-01-03T03:46:00.000-08:00

Top 50 movie special effects shots

There's still hope for Joaquin Phoenix:

2009-01-03T03:44:00.000-08:00

5 Homeless Guys Who Accomplished Amazing Things | Cracked.com

Happy 90th, J.D, Salinger

2009-01-03T03:38:00.000-08:00

Today is the 90th birthday of the famed literary recluse.

"A smaller writer would surely have exhausted the patience of his fans long ago. Salinger has not published anything since 1965. That was Hapworth 16, 1924, which took up most of an issue of The New Yorker. That said, a plan has been in the offing for more than 10 years to have it republished as a book. It will finally be released this month. Or that, at least, is what it says on the Amazon.com website."
Frankly, Salinger exhausted my patience with the crap he DID publish after "Nine Stories." As far as I can see, his entire reputation rests on Catcher in the Rye (1951) and a collection of short stories (published together in book form in 1953). His later novellas, if published under a different name, would not have earned a great literary reputation. They might not even have earned an A in an undergraduate course in creative writing. I'm not surprised that he stopped writing. He probably just realized that he didn't have anything worthwhile to offer. I'd have done the same in his shoes.

As for "Catcher" itself, I wonder if it still resonates with kids today, or if it seems like a quaint work that they read only because it appears on their required reading list, similar to the way my generation viewed Arrowsmith when we were in prep school.

Les Actrices Françaises Nues à l'Ecran (The French cinema nudity site) is updated

2009-01-03T03:36:00.000-08:00

A big update for the new year.

An important look ... er ... back

2009-01-03T03:32:00.000-08:00

10 of 2008’s Tightest Asses

Luckily they don't reproduce:

2009-01-03T03:27:00.000-08:00

"A PRIEST blown out to sea and killed after strapping 1,000 helium balloons to a chair has been honoured for his stupidity."

Hakuna matata means WHAT?

2009-01-03T03:25:00.000-08:00

7 Classic Disney Movies That Taught Us Terrible Lessons | Cracked.com

Unless, of course, they are eating Fruit Loops ...

2009-01-03T03:14:00.000-08:00

Teens Who Eat Breakfast Keep Their Virginity Longer

On the road to financial recovery ...

2009-01-03T03:04:00.000-08:00

"Recession-wary Americans embraced the virtues of thrift this Christmas, with stores reporting a clear rise in the popularity of piggy banks" (costing as much as $31)

Experts claim this will help us get back on the path to saving. I don't know. It didn't help me. I only saved $31 last year, and I blew it all buying a chrome piggy bank.

When the Congress runs the Big Three automakers ...

2009-01-03T03:01:00.000-08:00

The 2012 Pelosi GTxi SS/RT Sport Edition - from Congressional Motors

YouTube. Words and video from iowahawk. His original article has been widely plagiarized, but he struck back by taking a DJ's unattributed (but very competent) recitation and adding a video.

When National Geographic misses the key story, we are there ...

2009-01-03T02:57:00.000-08:00

10 Toilets with a Great View

5 Celebrities Most Likely To Die In 09

2009-01-03T02:55:00.000-08:00

Karl Malden is still alive?

She's our "American queen?" Can we trade for Liz, or at least Sir Elton?

2009-01-03T02:53:00.000-08:00

"American queen Sarah Palin spent her New Year's Eve in the traditional Wasilla way: placing angry phone calls to media outlets insisting her teen (mom) daughter and her man aren't high school dropouts."

Important news:

2009-01-03T02:50:00.000-08:00

"I Can See Kate Bosworth's Nipples

For Your Razzie Consideration: 'The Spirit'

2009-01-03T02:48:00.000-08:00

"Worse than Battlefield Earth"

Surprisingly, Rod Serling never thought of this ...

2009-01-03T02:46:00.000-08:00

"No witnesses have yet come forward to explain just how thousands of shoes appeared at 7:42 a.m. on the southbound lanes."

Science marches on

2009-01-03T02:44:00.000-08:00

Smarter Bats Have Smaller Testicles

Weekend Box Office Predictions (Jan 2-4, 2009)

2009-01-03T02:42:00.000-08:00

Same old guys. There are no new releases this week.

World's priciest cell phones.

2009-01-03T02:39:00.000-08:00

And you thought YOUR cell phone was too expensive!

Boy do I feel old ...

2007-04-21T05:48:00.000-07:00

It was 40 years ago today that the Beatles finished the Sgt Pepper album

First Look at The Joker... Kinda?

2007-04-21T02:26:00.000-07:00

Heath Ledger made up as The Joker

One tough beauty queen

2007-04-21T02:22:00.000-07:00

The 1944 Miss America shoots out the tires of a would-be thief

She's 82 years old, and was the first redhaired Miss America, winning in 1944 as the representative from the District of Columbia.

Minoan update ...

2007-04-21T02:18:00.000-07:00

The wave that destroyed Atlantis

"The legend of Atlantis, the country that disappeared under the sea, may be more than just a myth. Research on the Greek island of Crete suggests Europe's earliest civilisation was destroyed by a giant tsunami."

Projection: Disturbia' Wins Again w/$12.6 mil

2007-04-21T02:00:00.000-07:00

Fantasy Moguls EXCLUSIVE EARLY 3-DAY ESTIMATES:

In a down weekend, 'Disturbia' Wins Again w/$12.6 mil; 'Fracture' Solid 2nd w/$10.6 mil; 'Vacancy' Soft w/$6.8; 'Fuzz' #6 w/$5.5 mil.
(NOTE: These weekend estimates are based on Friday estimates, so they are far from hard facts.)